Oh my days! Just found a ‘monologue’ I wrote as part of creative writing elective way back in 2006!
Gosh I stink! I am so fed up of being worn. Never rested. I need a sabbatical. A well deserved treat at the water well. Doesn’t half make me dizzy though, spinning round and round…and the fast spin is a whirlpool. What a rush! But the rewards…whew! I come out of that merry-go-round-on-ecstasy smelling like daisies or whatever it is whatsyourface puts in the water! And how often do I get such a treat? Whenever Mr Forgetful remembers, which is pathetically rarely. So here I lie exhausted, sweaty, mucky, putrid and sick of myself.
“Oh no! Not you again! Hey! Mister! I bet you can hear me. Don’t act like you can’t. Pretending to be as deaf as a doorknob! Take me to the water well! Can you please not wear me? I’m cheesy enough already. Hey! I’m talking to you! Can you not see the hole you poked? I know my sibling is mute…but, hell-o! I am definitely not! What do I need to do to get some service around here?! Hell-ooo! Is anyone home in that head of yours? Forever up in the clouds! I understand you are very busy. I should know; I got bruises! Have you ever been to a chiropodist? When are you getting married? You need to do something about your feet! I know I stink but having to keep your feet warm is not doing us any favours! Have you ever tried talcum? It works a treat, especially after a whirl! I cannot believe this. After everything I’ve said? All my nattering! You actually want to try me on? Let go you nasty so-and-so, stinking up the place with your feet. I’ll be tight soon, you’ll have to let me go. Okay, okay stop tugging so hard. I am on, alright, on”.
Oma Okolo (c) 2006